50 posts tagged with "self-awareness"

We have more faith in what we imitate than in what we originate - Bruce Lee​

Self actualization​

Self actualization - the realization or fulfillment of one's talents and potentialities, especially considered as a drive or need present in everyone.

Characteristics of Self Actualized People​

• Self accepting
• Enjoy solitude and privacy
• Autonomous
• Open and spontaneous
• Realistic
• Responsible
• Enjoy the journey, and not just the destination

Self-Image actualization​

Bruce Lee adds:

Many people dedicate their lives to actualizing a concept of what they should be like, rather than actualizing themselves. This difference between self-actualizing and self-image actualizing is very important. Most people only live for their image.

Where some people have a self, most people have a void, because they are so busy projecting themselves as this or that. This again is the curse of the ideal. The curse is that you should not be what you are. Every external control, even internalized external control - "you should" - interferes with the healthy working of the organism. There is only one thing that should control the situation. If you understand the situation that you are in, and let the situation that you are in control your actions, then you learn how to cope with life.

Carl Rogers believed that for a person to achieve self-actualization they must be in a state of congruence. This means that self-actualization occurs when a person's “ideal self” (i.e., who they would like to be) is congruent with their actual behavior (self-image).

Alone is state of being or body, whereas loneliness is state of mind.

Celebrating your time alone​

I have many Sundays when I do not have a conversations with more than 5 people face to face. A conversation is something meaningful and more than just exchange of instructions or tasks. Many a times, I only have conversations virtually, i.e. not face to face.

In the last 2 years, I have learnt to celebrate my time alone. It is liberating and empowering - calms you down and you can get a lot done with focus.

Today, I ended up spending my time with 2 km swimming, catching up on sleep, reading a book cover to cover, 10k steps and listening to an audio book.

Netwon's First Law of Motion states that - An object at rest remains at rest, and an object in motion remains in motion at constant speed and in a straight line unless acted on by an unbalanced force.

Creatures of inertia​

We are all creatures of inertia - in our daily lives, work, relationships and goals. Typically, a sudden change will lead to a loss of balance. Let me elaborate:

• Rain in summer with a drop of temperature from 30 degrees to 15 degrees will affect your health. While you will be able to balance out 5 degrees ove a gradual change in temperature.
• A sudden spike in caffeine, eg. coffee in the evening will lead to loss of sleep in the night. But make it a daily habit and your body will adjust.

Inertia works in both directions​

Inertia works similarly in both directions - upwards and downwards. Ofcourse there are boundary conditions i.e. rock bottom and plateau after gains.

Gradual changes in status quo happen on a daily basis. Slow changes are usually irreversible and hard to break. They usually happen because of identity shift and a change in how we view ourselves.

Choose when to break the inertia​

We should change the momentum and change it consciously when we either hit a plateau in positive momentum or when we realize that it is a negative momentum. It takes a while for the negative habits to reveal themselves.

Friendship in humans​

Friendship has been an integral part of human society for thousands of years. The concept of friendship can be traced back to ancient civilizations such as Egypt, Greece, and Rome, where close bonds were formed between individuals based on shared interests, values, and experiences. In these early societies, friendship often played a crucial role in political and social life, with friendships between rulers and advisors providing the foundation for many powerful dynasties. Over time, the nature of friendship has evolved, with the rise of individualism and modernity giving rise to new forms of friendship that are more egalitarian and based on mutual respect and support. Despite these changes, the basic human desire for connection and companionship has remained constant, and friendship continues to be one of the most important aspects of our lives.

Friendship for me​

I have a lot of acquaintances and a few friends. A naive view that I had while growing up was that friends are those who are accessible, available and enthusiastic.

An ideal friend is someone who is trustworthy and supportive. They are there for you in good times and bad, and they accept you for who you are. They listen without judgment and offer advice when needed. An ideal friend is someone who respects your boundaries and does not pressure you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. They are honest with you, but they do so in a kind and respectful way. An ideal friend is also someone who is fun to be around and shares similar interests and values. They make you laugh, lift you up when you're feeling down, and celebrate your successes with you. Overall, an ideal friend is someone who makes your life better just by being a part of it.

Body & mind​

In one of the guided meditation sessions, I was gently nudged towards thinking about body and mind. Especially, differentiation between our association with the question of - who am I? Am I the body, the mind, both?

Building upon the narrator, I am my mind and the body is something which I control. The control varies over age, circumstances, health and more. The explicit relationship between mind and body is the perception of self in the reality.

Honor your body​

There are trillions of cells in a human body. The number estimated is around 37.2 trillion cells in a human body.

It is fascinating that we have such a complex machinery at our disposal. In daily life, we tend to forget that we have something magical going on in our body at every moment.

Honor your own body, your body is the most precious gift from nature.

Levels of Anger​

Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong. While, being angry towards something might not be in my control, how I react to anger is under my control. Anger can be of different levels, like:

• Passive-Aggressive Anger
• Assertive Anger
• Openly Aggressive Anger

Identifying my Anger​

Today morning I was angry about two men who were reckless and quite unperturbed by their actions. Instinctively, I made some noise to avoid collision but they were quite involved in their action to pay heed to the warning. While I let it go within 5 minutes, I later realized the sequence of thoughts in my mind.

Letting go of any emotion - pleasure, joy, happiness, amusement, pride, awe, excitement or ecstasy - is important for staying at my core. During the rush of anger in the morning today, I felt that I could disassociate my mind and my anger. It was as if I was looking at me as a third person with a bird's eye view. I asked myself the question - Is is worth my morning to pursue my anger?

It is definitely a new experience for me. I had heard about it in guided meditation sessions but never experienced it personally.

It is wise to direct your anger towards problems -- not people; to focus your energies on answers -- not excuses.

Spring time​

String is the season full of life, growth and activity. It is a season that is marked by warmer temperatures, longer days, and the blossoming of flowers and trees. And Holi, in a way, marks the beginning of Spring season.

Intelligence in plants​

Plants are intelligent, albeit in a different way, but they are able to sense and respond to their environment, communicate with each other through chemical signals, and even solve problems. The next time you see a flower or plant bending towards sunlight, growing towards water - be amazed by the existence of intelligence all around is. In a way, isn't that what life is all about?

Converting for good​

Many a times, we take decisions which are tough, binding and for life time. These are moments of conversion, and if supported by willpower and change of identity, they are permanent. Some examples of converting are:

• Picking a new hobby - cycling or running
• Quitting smoking for good
• Becoming a reader

Zeal of the converted​

The process of converting from an old you to a new you is confusing, scary and comes with a lot of temptations. Building a new habit is tough, it is slow and requires an honest conversation with your self. But after you convert, it becomes pride and something you are indeed proud of. The converted you is zealous for the following reasons:

• It is energizing to do something new, hard and personal.
• Being successfully on the other side gives you immense confidence and self worth.
• Having struggled and failed, you are more willing to help others in their journey.

A zealous and converted me talking about morning swimming

Swimming Routine​

I book my swimming sessions using Fitso. While I started learning swimming in March 2022 - at the age of 33. I have started enjoying it a lot, because:

• It is a new skill that I have picked up after college
• I have struggled to improve but persisted for a year now

50 minute swim slot​

I choose before entering the pool either of - 1km, 1.5km or 2km swim for the day. I have found that the act of choosing before helps me to push myself to reach the goal. A 50 minute swim is reasonably long and you can easily do 500+ active calories in the session.

Flow state while swimming​

Since the last 6 months, I have been able to attain a flow state while swimming relatively swimming. Some of the benefits which compound over an year:

• You cannot talk or listen to under water
• You cannot check your phone
• You start observing self talk
• You build a routine of talking to yourself

What I currently think about while swimming​

I have recently started swimming in the morning at 6 am:

• I remind myself about who I am, where I am. It helps me orient myself in the morning. It goes something like: I am Gaurav Parashar, son of Abhay & Jyoti Parashar, currently in Gurgaon ..
• I remind myself about the day, date & month. This forces me to zoom out time to a monthly scale.
• During one of the guide meditations via YT, I learnt how visualizing your loved ones increases the satisfaction of the day. I think about family, friends, people I have met.
• I keep going back to thinking about work, and every time that happens, I gently guide it out of my thoughts.

Swim, 2 Mar 2023

A unique experience was meditating at Langkawi Sky Bridge - I could feel that the curved cable-stayed bridge vibrates/oscillates ever so slightly.

Observing weather and mood​

Temperature, humidity, wind, air quality, sunshine/radiation play a very important role in how I sleep, feel and focus during the day. Observing the extremes in daily life is easier:

• Winters in Delhi NCR and Gurgaon lower the mood due to the smog and temperature
• Hot wind (loo) and extreme heat in summers of Rajasthan increase the stress in my body
• A super cold blast from air conditioners reduces my focus on work

Weather or Seasons by City​

Looking back, the weather of Bangalore throughout the year or Springtime in London has been the most satiating weather I have experienced. The reasons are:

1. Mood is upbeat throughout the day
2. Productivity per hour is high
3. Deep work is easier due to higher focus

Ideal City Hopping for me​

1. Spring in London
2. Summer in Bangalore
3. Fall in Gurgaon or Dubai
4. Winter in Jaipur

Bluewaters Bay, Dubai 2019

A unique experience was meditating at Langkawi Sky Bridge - I could feel that the curved cable-stayed bridge vibrates/oscillates ever so slightly.