Conflict are a natural phenomena of human interaction, and some days can feel particularly fraught with tension and disagreement. A conflict-ridden day can be emotionally exhausting, leaving individuals feeling drained and overwhelmed.
Today was one such day, with friction and arguments. It can be summarized as a day which was the polar opposite of path of least resistance. Keeping a calm mind and balanced attitude is difficult on such days. Another day. Another step.
Effective communication is the foundation of any successful relationship, be it personal or professional. And one of the most crucial components of communication is listening. However, merely hearing what someone says is not enough; to truly understand and connect with others, I must practice active listening.
Active listening involves not only hearing the words someone is saying but also understanding their message, emotions, and body language. It requires focus, attention, and an open mind.
Body scanning involves paying attention to the speaker's nonverbal cues such as facial expressions, gestures, and tone of voice. The benefits of active listening are numerous. Firstly, it helps build stronger relationships by fostering trust and understanding. When I feel heard and understood, I am more likely to open up and share my thoughts and feelings.
Use of devices has made it increasingly difficult for me to practice active listening. With iPhone, laptop and TV always turned on, I am easily distracted and disengaged during conversations. Not only do these devices divert my attention, but they also send a message to the speaker that I am not fully invested in the conversation Additionally, in the past, practicing mindfulness has helped me improve my ability to focus and be present during conversations.
The body during routine illness like flu is under stress. Usual symptoms like sneezing, cough or body ache - though routine - lead to a dip in focus. The ability to focus on a complex topics reduces and deep work is difficult. A lot it can be attributed to the medication which induces drowsiness and lack of quality sleep.
If working from office, the following helps:
If working from home, the following helps:
Our body is a really complex system and is at times ahead of our mind. It warns us of upcoming downtimes and issues. It is an art to listen to your body and respect its limitations.
Today morning at 5:30 am, I woke up with a sore throat - most likely flu with the changing weather. I heated some water with salt and gargled. I had a similar feeling on Sunday after exercise and exertion.
In the last few years, I have started enjoying sick days. I differentiate the day by reading something new on Kindle, ordering a bit of junk food and mostly making it a point to satisfy my sweet tooth. Looks like today is one of those days where the second half is all about resting and shutting the body down.
We have more faith in what we imitate than in what we originate - Bruce Lee
Self actualization - the realization or fulfillment of one's talents and potentialities, especially considered as a drive or need present in everyone.
Bruce Lee adds:
Many people dedicate their lives to actualizing a concept of what they should be like, rather than actualizing themselves. This difference between self-actualizing and self-image actualizing is very important. Most people only live for their image.
Where some people have a self, most people have a void, because they are so busy projecting themselves as this or that. This again is the curse of the ideal. The curse is that you should not be what you are. Every external control, even internalized external control - "you should" - interferes with the healthy working of the organism. There is only one thing that should control the situation. If you understand the situation that you are in, and let the situation that you are in control your actions, then you learn how to cope with life.
Carl Rogers believed that for a person to achieve self-actualization they must be in a state of congruence. This means that self-actualization occurs when a person's “ideal self” (i.e., who they would like to be) is congruent with their actual behavior (self-image).
Alone is state of being or body, whereas loneliness is state of mind.
I have many Sundays when I do not have a conversations with more than 5 people face to face. A conversation is something meaningful and more than just exchange of instructions or tasks. Many a times, I only have conversations virtually, i.e. not face to face.
In the last 2 years, I have learnt to celebrate my time alone. It is liberating and empowering - calms you down and you can get a lot done with focus.
Today, I ended up spending my time with 2 km swimming, catching up on sleep, reading a book cover to cover, 10k steps and listening to an audio book.
Netwon's First Law of Motion states that - An object at rest remains at rest, and an object in motion remains in motion at constant speed and in a straight line unless acted on by an unbalanced force.
We are all creatures of inertia - in our daily lives, work, relationships and goals. Typically, a sudden change will lead to a loss of balance. Let me elaborate:
Inertia works similarly in both directions - upwards and downwards. Ofcourse there are boundary conditions i.e. rock bottom and plateau after gains.
Gradual changes in status quo happen on a daily basis. Slow changes are usually irreversible and hard to break. They usually happen because of identity shift and a change in how we view ourselves.
We should change the momentum and change it consciously when we either hit a plateau in positive momentum or when we realize that it is a negative momentum. It takes a while for the negative habits to reveal themselves.
Friendship has been an integral part of human society for thousands of years. The concept of friendship can be traced back to ancient civilizations such as Egypt, Greece, and Rome, where close bonds were formed between individuals based on shared interests, values, and experiences. In these early societies, friendship often played a crucial role in political and social life, with friendships between rulers and advisors providing the foundation for many powerful dynasties. Over time, the nature of friendship has evolved, with the rise of individualism and modernity giving rise to new forms of friendship that are more egalitarian and based on mutual respect and support. Despite these changes, the basic human desire for connection and companionship has remained constant, and friendship continues to be one of the most important aspects of our lives.
I have a lot of acquaintances and a few friends. A naive view that I had while growing up was that friends are those who are accessible, available and enthusiastic.
An ideal friend is someone who is trustworthy and supportive. They are there for you in good times and bad, and they accept you for who you are. They listen without judgment and offer advice when needed. An ideal friend is someone who respects your boundaries and does not pressure you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. They are honest with you, but they do so in a kind and respectful way. An ideal friend is also someone who is fun to be around and shares similar interests and values. They make you laugh, lift you up when you're feeling down, and celebrate your successes with you. Overall, an ideal friend is someone who makes your life better just by being a part of it.
In one of the guided meditation sessions, I was gently nudged towards thinking about body and mind. Especially, differentiation between our association with the question of - who am I? Am I the body, the mind, both?
Building upon the narrator, I am my mind and the body is something which I control. The control varies over age, circumstances, health and more. The explicit relationship between mind and body is the perception of self in the reality.
There are trillions of cells in a human body. The number estimated is around 37.2 trillion cells in a human body.
It is fascinating that we have such a complex machinery at our disposal. In daily life, we tend to forget that we have something magical going on in our body at every moment.
Honor your own body, your body is the most precious gift from nature.
Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong. While, being angry towards something might not be in my control, how I react to anger is under my control. Anger can be of different levels, like:
Today morning I was angry about two men who were reckless and quite unperturbed by their actions. Instinctively, I made some noise to avoid collision but they were quite involved in their action to pay heed to the warning. While I let it go within 5 minutes, I later realized the sequence of thoughts in my mind.
Letting go of any emotion - pleasure, joy, happiness, amusement, pride, awe, excitement or ecstasy - is important for staying at my core. During the rush of anger in the morning today, I felt that I could disassociate my mind and my anger. It was as if I was looking at me as a third person with a bird's eye view. I asked myself the question - Is is worth my morning to pursue my anger?
It is definitely a new experience for me. I had heard about it in guided meditation sessions but never experienced it personally.
It is wise to direct your anger towards problems -- not people; to focus your energies on answers -- not excuses.