serve: to be useful or suitable for a particular purpose

Service and life​

All the macro systems around us are build with the objective of rewarding people for activities that they are good at. In other words, human beings - in groups - have since time ago have created systems, customs and rituals such that people who are good at serving other human beings get rewarded. In the modern economy, the equivalent is that if you have skills or resources or capital which serves others around you (or the globe), you enjoy status, power and wealth.

I have deeply thought about the purpose of life many times - 2nd year of undergrad and year 2021 were phases of longer deliberation. I have concluded that serving others is a primary purpose of our life. In the process of doing that, you discover your quirks, strengths, weaknesses and what you enjoy. In fact, how we enjoy giving the service changes with age and the definition of others also changes with the environment.

Secluding from serving others​

For a variety of reasons, many a times we resist serving our purpose and get stuck in a rut. These situations aggravate when we are stubborn about what we do not want to do. Resolving by excluding things not do is a valid strategy but applying it in serving others becomes a long frustrating process of brute force experiments. In such times, look back and think about the enormity of life around you and realize that service is the constant companion of the living being. When you stop serving, you stagnate and stop living life in its full sense.

Stagnation is the enemy of sanity.​

Walk and talk​

It is much nicer to have conversations while walking. The consistent change of scenery brings freshness and adds to the pace of the conversation. I met friend, Parth Joshi today over a cup of chai and ended up walking and talking for over an hour.

Add to the reading list​

I ended up adding a few new books to my reading list:

• The book of life by Jiddu Krishnamurti
• Fanatical Prospecting
• The Challenger Sale

Your soul is imperishable; repose in the self

Repose in yourself​

In a Guided Meditation YouTube Video, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar mentions a phrase - Repose in yourself. It has resonated with me and I find it powerful.

I am relatively new to meditation albeit - I can only do 10 minutes of guided meditation without getting distracted or affected by sounds around me. But I enjoy those 10 minutes - they are totally mine and I feel relaxed or deeply relaxed after it. Days when I am deeply relaxed are usually clubbed within a week and symptomatic of lesser stress around work.

Letting go of all the tension around you​

We are invariably stressed or tense for one thing or the other. It is human nature and in my experience, a healthy amount of stress, leads to out-performance. For the duration of meditation, letting go of all the tension around the 4 aspects of life - work, personal growth, health and relationship is liberating.

I am alone with myself, my thoughts and nothingness. Coupled with deep breathing, it leads to a feeling of pure bliss and joy. The oneness of your mind and body - brims you with a longing for the moment to never end.

We have more faith in what we imitate than in what we originate - Bruce Lee​

Self actualization​

Self actualization - the realization or fulfillment of one's talents and potentialities, especially considered as a drive or need present in everyone.

Characteristics of Self Actualized People​

• Self accepting
• Enjoy solitude and privacy
• Autonomous
• Open and spontaneous
• Realistic
• Responsible
• Enjoy the journey, and not just the destination

Self-Image actualization​

Bruce Lee adds:

Many people dedicate their lives to actualizing a concept of what they should be like, rather than actualizing themselves. This difference between self-actualizing and self-image actualizing is very important. Most people only live for their image.

Where some people have a self, most people have a void, because they are so busy projecting themselves as this or that. This again is the curse of the ideal. The curse is that you should not be what you are. Every external control, even internalized external control - "you should" - interferes with the healthy working of the organism. There is only one thing that should control the situation. If you understand the situation that you are in, and let the situation that you are in control your actions, then you learn how to cope with life.

Carl Rogers believed that for a person to achieve self-actualization they must be in a state of congruence. This means that self-actualization occurs when a person's “ideal self” (i.e., who they would like to be) is congruent with their actual behavior (self-image).

Alone is state of being or body, whereas loneliness is state of mind.

Celebrating your time alone​

I have many Sundays when I do not have a conversations with more than 5 people face to face. A conversation is something meaningful and more than just exchange of instructions or tasks. Many a times, I only have conversations virtually, i.e. not face to face.

In the last 2 years, I have learnt to celebrate my time alone. It is liberating and empowering - calms you down and you can get a lot done with focus.

Today, I ended up spending my time with 2 km swimming, catching up on sleep, reading a book cover to cover, 10k steps and listening to an audio book.

Netwon's First Law of Motion states that - An object at rest remains at rest, and an object in motion remains in motion at constant speed and in a straight line unless acted on by an unbalanced force.

Creatures of inertia​

We are all creatures of inertia - in our daily lives, work, relationships and goals. Typically, a sudden change will lead to a loss of balance. Let me elaborate:

• Rain in summer with a drop of temperature from 30 degrees to 15 degrees will affect your health. While you will be able to balance out 5 degrees ove a gradual change in temperature.
• A sudden spike in caffeine, eg. coffee in the evening will lead to loss of sleep in the night. But make it a daily habit and your body will adjust.

Inertia works in both directions​

Inertia works similarly in both directions - upwards and downwards. Ofcourse there are boundary conditions i.e. rock bottom and plateau after gains.

Gradual changes in status quo happen on a daily basis. Slow changes are usually irreversible and hard to break. They usually happen because of identity shift and a change in how we view ourselves.

Choose when to break the inertia​

We should change the momentum and change it consciously when we either hit a plateau in positive momentum or when we realize that it is a negative momentum. It takes a while for the negative habits to reveal themselves.

Day with lots of arguments​

We all have days where things just don't seem to go our way, and it feels like we're constantly getting into arguments with people around us. Whether it's a disagreement with a coworker, a fight with a friend, or a shouting match with a family member, dealing with days with lots of arguments can be incredibly draining and stressful.

Dealing with days with lots of arguments can be tough, but by staying calm, practicing active listening, looking for common ground, setting boundaries, and taking care of yourself, one can get through even the toughest of days.

Focus is hard​

We check our phone around 150 times a day (~ 10 times every hour awake) and half of our phone time is reserved for Social Media

My observations have been:

1. Days with significant slots of shallow focus are less satisfying.
2. Consciously solving a single or atomic problem for 1.5 hours is tough but very effective.
3. In startups, you choose the problem statement and the work towards the solve. Focusing on a niche market or problem or user is is tough but very effective.
4. Meditation helps improve focus and observing your own dopamine loops helps break addictions.

Since yesterday, I have been distracted with adhoc, abrupt problem situations, firefighting, pokes from competitors. Such days happen every now and then, but it is always nice to fight distractions and focus back on the short term (i.e. weekly) and long term goals (i.e. 1 year).

Focus can be engineered​

I try to engineer focus during the day by doing the following:

• List my most important task(s) of the day and check in the afternoon if I am making progress
• Choosing my environment - office space, temperature, coffee at the right time of the day
• Music on Spotify during the day if you want to zone out the external noises
• Sales calls batched together to avoid being switch on and off

I am missing on some effective things even after repeated reminders:

• 15 minutes walk after lunch - helps increase focus after lunch time.
• Recap of the day after the work is completed i.e. a restore point for the next day.
• Cutting short time sinks or black holes i.e. anticipating conversations or events which will be an utter waste of time.

Earthquake on 21-Mar-2023​

Around 10:30 PM last night, my bed started shaking. I was reading Way of the Wolf in bed on my Kindle and felt them. It took a few seconds to orient and realize that they were earthquake tremors being felt across Delhi NCR. Tweets from people were witty even during the confusion after the tremors.

I live in an apartment complex, and 10 seconds into the tremors, I thought of leaving my bed and going down using the stairs and away from the buildings. It was a deer in the spotlight moment for me and after a few seconds, I decided to stay inside. Attached are the tips for Earthquake Safety for Apartments.

Today morning, I marvel at the limitlessness of nature and the random iterations that happen daily. As much as we dig ourselves in our daily routine, digital life and alternate reality. The nature has its ways of surprising us and unfortunately at times, destroying us. Every day of life, breath and mindfulness is a gift from the nature - cherish it.

The hard part isn't knowing what the right thing to do is. The hard part is doing it

Breaking down a problem statement​

If I break a tough problem into atomic sub-problems, the order of difficulty reduces drastically.

Let's take an example, if I want to run a marathon (which I do not enjoy), I know that I will not be able to start with 21km running. If instead I break it down to training routine like below - thanks to Puneet Yadav for breaking it down, I have a greater chance of picking it up:

• Week 1: 2-3 km with 2 breaks
• Week 2: 3km with no break
• Week 3: 5km with 2/3 breaks
• Week 4: 5km with 1 break
• Week 5: 7.5km with 2 breaks
• Week 6: 10km with 2 breaks
• Week 7: 10km with no break
• Week 8: 15km with 2 breaks
• Week 9-10: 15km with no break
• Week 11: 18km with 1 break
• Week 12: 21km with no break

Knowing vs doing the right thing​

The above conversation with Puneet was from Mar 2022, an year ago. It is one thing to know the right thing to do and another to do it.

I have found committing to a plan works well if the following conditions are met:

1. You write it down, print it out or keep it top of mind digitally.
2. You discuss the progress with friends or family. Especially when you are struggling.
3. You celebrate the milestones - e.g. gift yourself something meaningful when you hit Week 5.
4. You zoom in and zoom out repeatedly, seeing how far you have come and how far do you have to go.